so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
