I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
