are you still at the devil's house?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
