I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
