party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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