please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
