He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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