thus making me awesome and them whores
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
