you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
