That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
