The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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