your parents love me but you hate me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
