Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
