do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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