there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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