i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
