from now on my penis is your penis
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have already put on my inside pants.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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