idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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