he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
