there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
