Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
