What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
