He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
