$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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