Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
