I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This house was built for laser tag.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We have started to decorate penises.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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