At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it because I queefed?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
