u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
