ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
