Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
