Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
