Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
How external is "for external use only"?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
