my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
MIDGETS
????
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
