I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
