is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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