Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
