you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I don't think brook has ever known best
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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