i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The best revenge is premature balding
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
