No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
