The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
