Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
