Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Quick, to the slutcave!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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