I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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