You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
