Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
