a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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