This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
