i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
