Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
