Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
