ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
