well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
